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Are you getting older?

Discussion in 'Comedy' started by QuailDancer, Apr 11, 2006.

  1. 1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
    2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
    3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
    4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
    5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
    6. You watch the Weather Channel.
    7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up.
    8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
    9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." -- unless you live
    in Arizona
    10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door
    won't turn down the stereo.
    11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
    12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
    13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
    14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
    15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
    16. You take naps.
    17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
    18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather
    than settle, your stomach.
    19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and
    pregnancy tests.
    20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good ****."
    21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
    22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to
    drink that much again."
    23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
    24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
    25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead
    of asking "Oh **** what the hell happened
    26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't
    apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old ass. Then you forward
    it to a bunch of old friends 'cause you know they'll enjoy it too.
    And now you know why I am forwarding this to you...
  2. well, i guess i'm not getting older yet! :bouncy: :cheeky-sm

  3. Quail thats some good ones. I didn't think I was that old but I guess I am. There is one more your can add quail. You know you getting old when you fish more than you work.
  4. I guess I am. Won't be long, LoveHunting, won't be long.