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Dogs' list to God

Discussion in 'Upland Game hunting, Dogs and dog training' started by ccavacini, Mar 25, 2006.

  1. ccavacini

    ccavacini Super Mod Mod

    Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good dog.

    1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.

    2.. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.

    3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they are tasty.

    4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

    5. The sofa is not a 'face towel'. Neither are Mom and Dad's laps.

    6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

    7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

    8. I will not bite the officers hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and registration.

    9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.

    10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

    11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table.

    12.. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.

    13. I will not throw up in the car.

    14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.

    15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when we have company.

    16. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

    And, finally, my last question...

    Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?


  2. I can relate to just about all of those! Very funny!