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Don't tell my wife I posted this!

Discussion in 'Comedy' started by goggleye57, Mar 14, 2006.

  1. Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !

    How many men does it take to open a beer?

    None. It should be opened when she brings it.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?

    Because a woman who can't even afford a
    washing machine will probably never be able to support you.
    --------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why do women have smaller feet than men?

    It's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows
    them to stand closer to the
    kitchen sink.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?

    When she starts a sentence with "A man once told me..."
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    How do you fix a woman's watch?

    You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why do men fart more than women?

    Because women can't shut up long enough to
    build up the required pressure.
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    If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
    The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------

    What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?

    A woman who won't do what she's told.
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    I married a Miss Right.

    I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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    Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
    a woman's sex drive by 90%.

    It's called a Wedding Cake.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------

    Why do men die before their wives?

    They want to.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------

    Women will never be equal to men
    until they can
    walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
    gut, and still think they are sexy.
    -------------------------------------------------------------------
    In the beginning, God created the earth and rested.
    Then God created Man and rested.
    Then God created Woman.

    Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.

     
  2. Them's some good ones!!!

    Fer some reason my wife don't think some of them are too funny... :confused: Go figure.. LOL

    Alan
     

  3. Why shouldn't women have drivers license?
    Cause there's no highway from the kitchen to the bedroom:evil:
     
  4. ccavacini

    ccavacini Super Mod Mod

    Mark, you sure have guts with those....Although, my wife thinks I'm on a chat room with 13 year old boys...wait a minute...that might not be too far from the truth
     
  5. :chicken: :chicken: !!!!


    Although I'm 34 in people years...I am really only 18...in kids years!!!:gaga:



    I thank you!!!

    By the way Goggle, What is your phone number? I, uh, you know, might have to call you sometime...........:coolgleam !!!



    What's the wife's name again? You know, in case she answers first. I didn't think, "Hi Mrs. Goggleye, did you see what your husband posted......" sounded to professional. wouldn't want to mif her off....you know!!
     
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