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Dream Hunt?

Discussion in 'Sound Off' started by Flintlocker, Feb 24, 2007.

  1. Elmer was a life long hunter and fisherman from the Hoosier state. He was a hard working husband and father who worked his whole life to provide for his family and fund his outdoor enthusiasms.

    When Elmer retired, his loving wife and grown children all chipped in to arrange for Elmer to take a hunting trip of a lifetime as a reward for his devotion to them for all of those years.

    Elmer chose to go on a brown bear hunt with his favorite archery equipment.

    The first day of his hunt found Elmer in a stand at the edge of an alder swamp, along a stream brimming with salmon. The air was crisp, the sun was shining, the birds were singing. Every thing seemed perfect.

    Then he heard it! A soft scuffle...a low snuffle.... and there he was. A huge bear was slowly working down the trail right towards Elmer. With trembling hands, Elmer drew back... anchored ... and let fly an arrow.

    And he missed!

    The bear looked right up at him. Ran over, shook him out of his stand and raped him! :yikes:

    Elmer was not at all pleased.:mad:

    In camp that night, Elmer told his outfitter what had happened.

    "I won't stand for this!" said Elmer. "I need a rifle, so I can settle things with that dang bear."

    Next morning, armed with a .300 Win Mag, and holding quite a grudge, Elmer waited in the stand above the trail in the alder thicket. Soon he heard it. A soft scuffle ... a low snuffle... and there he was. That same bear.

    With grim determination, Elmer shouldered his borrowed rifle, let out a slow breath, and squeezed the trigger. And missed again!

    Again, the bear ran over, shook Elmer out of his tree, and raped him!:yikes:

    Now Elmer was REALLY upset.:mad: :mad: :mad:

    That night, Elmer and his outfitter hatched a plan that could not fail.

    Daylight the next morning found Elmer perched in his same stand with a .50 cal M-2 machine gun that the outfitter had mysteriously produced following a call to some gun toting buddies. "This'll fix him," fumed Elmer....:evilsmile

    Pretty soon, here came the bear, snuffling and scuffling down the trail. With sinister glee, Elmer started toggling off rounds...thunka-thunka-thunka-thunk. Thunka-thunka-thunka-thunk.

    And he missed.

    You guessed it. The bear ran over, shook Elmer out of his tree, and said "You're not in this for the huntin' anymore, are you?"

    :bloos: :bloos: :bloos: