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For Indiana Sportsman Wives- "Classes for Men"

Discussion in 'Comedy' started by goggleye57, Oct 18, 2006.

  1. WINTER CLASSES FOR MEN AT

    THE LEARNING CENTER FOR ADULTS
    REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED By Monday, Jan. 23, 2007

    NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
    OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM.


    Class 1
    How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays --- Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
    Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 2
    The Toilet Paper Roll --- Does It Change Itself?
    Round Table Discussion.
    Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.

    Class 3
    Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
    Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub? --- Group Practice.
    Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.


    Class 4
    Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The Floor ---
    Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
    Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.

    Class 5
    After Dinner Dishes --- Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
    Examples on Video.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
    at 7:00 PM

    Class 6
    Loss Of Identity --- Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
    Help Line Support and Support Groups.
    Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM

    Class 7
    Learning How To Find Things --- Starting With Looking In The Right Places
    And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.

    Open Forum .
    Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.

    PAN style="FONT-WEIGHT: bold">Class 8
    Health Watch --- Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
    Graphics and Audio Tapes.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.

    Class 9
    Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost --- Real Life Testimonials.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined.

    Class 10
    Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
    Driving Simulations.
    4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.

    Class 11
    Learning to Live --- Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
    Online Classes and role-playing .
    Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined

    Class 12
    How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
    Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
    Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.

    Class 13
    How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy --- Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
    Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
    Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.


    [font=T! imes New Roman][font='T! imes New Roman']Class 14 [/font][/font]
    The Stove/Oven --- What It Is and How It Is Used.
    Live Demonstration.
    Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to bermined.

    Upon completion of any of the above courses,
    diplomas will be issued to the survivors.

     
  2. ccavacini

    ccavacini Super Mod Mod

    I'm signing up for Class 3

    My wife would agree:rolleyes:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 18, 2006

  3. My wife says I need to take classes 3, 5, and 7.
     
  4. Skip class 7. I say if you have a method that works, stick with it.
     
  5. Class 4? I don't get it...she ends up putting them in the washer anyway so why does it matter?
     
  6. Hey, wait, I think I need to send my wife to class #14. Hmmmm..
     
  7. I've failed miserably at #3 for quite some time.

    Class #13 reminds me of Bill Hart. A few years ago he forgot his wife's birthday and she never let on about it. Finally, after several weeks of silent treatment that progressed (or is it digressed) weekly...Bill finally asked her what was wrong. She broke down in tears and told him that he'd forgotten her birthday. Well, you know what they say about diamonds and girls??? An expensive lesson to learn...wouldn't you say???? Don't let this happen to you..........
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Oct 18, 2006
  8. If she could, my wife would sign me up for #12.
     
  9. My wife wants to know if I take them all will we get a discount or guarantee?
     
  10. Old Dog New Tricks.....

    My wife say you cant Teach and "Old Dog New Tricks".....I will not be attending :cheeky-sm CLass 15 the "Wild Thing"....my class!!!!:evilsmile
     
  11. Sign me up for class 10...or teach her to drive.