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Idiots in the neighborhood

Discussion in 'Comedy' started by ccavacini, May 30, 2006.

  1. ccavacini

    ccavacini Super Mod Mod


    I live in a semi-rural area. We recently
    had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request

    the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many

    deer were being hit by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there


    This one was from Kingman, KS.

    *IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and

    ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal

    lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

    This was in Jackson Mississippi

    IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an

    airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without

    your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge,

    How would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

    Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

    IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to

    cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged

    coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I

    explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled,

    she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"

    She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

    IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear co-worker

    who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented

    cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was

    spoken. We all just looked at each other with that

    deer-in-the-headlights stare.

    This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

    IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip
    back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her

    system would not turn on.

    A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's office no less.

    IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an automobile
    dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in

    it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working

    feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the

    passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered

    that it was unlocked. "Hey," I

    announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know I

    already got that side."

    This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi!

    They walk among us . AND REPRODUCE!
  2. Still chuckling!!!!!!!! Because it reminds of an episode that happened years ago. My baby sister stopped by my house and wanted me to check the oil in her car. So I went out and checked it. It was a quart low. She asked if I had any oil and I said yes. As I was walking out to the shed the phone rang and I went in the house to answer it. It was my girlfriend so I started talking. My sister came in the house, while I was on the phone, and asked where the oil was. I told her, and she said she would put the quart in herself. I ended up talking to my girlfriend for over a half hour. I just hung up the phone and my sister walks back in. I asked her what she had been doing outside. She said that she had just finished putting in the quart of oil. I said come on Sis it doesnt take 30 minutes to put a quart of oil in! To which she replied that there was barely enough room for that dipstick in that tiny hole let alone trying to pour oil in it without spilling it all over!!!! True story gents! And that is my gene pool! And now she makes more money than I do!!!!!!!

  3. You guys just made me fall off my chair.:bonk:
  4. I just chalk my sisters episode up to her being blonde!!!!!!
  5. those are good ones ccavacini. A man went in to a McDonald and told them to open the cash register and give him the money the man behind the counter said he would have to buy something before the register would open so the man ordered a Big Mac and the man behind the counter said that it was not lunch time yet and at this time they were still serving breakfast so the robber said he didn't want breakfast so he turn around and left.