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Four men were sitting around a conference room table being
Interviewed for a job. The interviewer asked, "What is the fastest
thing you know of?" pointing to the man on his right.

The first man replied, "A thought. It pops into your head, there's no
forewarning that it's on the way; it's just there. A thought is the
fastest thing I know of."

"That's very good," replied the interviewer. "And now you, sir," he
asked the second man.

"Hmmm, let me see, a blink!," said the second man. "It comes and goes
and you don't know it ever happened. A blink is the fastest thing I
know of."

"Excellent!" said the interviewer. "The blink of an eye. That's a
very popular cliche for speed." He then turned to the third man who
was contemplating his reply.

"Well, out on my dad's ranch, you step out of the house and on the
wall there is a light switch. When you flip that switch, way across
the pasture the light at the barn comes on in an instant. Turning on
a light is the fastest thing I can think of."

The interviewer was very impressed with the third answer and thought
he had found his man.

"It's hard to beat the speed of light." he said. Turning to the
fourth man, a Newfoundlander, he posed the same question.

"After hearing the three previous answers, it's obvious to me the
fastest thing known is diarrhea," said the Newfie.

"What!" said the interviewer, stunned by the response.

"Oh, I can explain," said the Newfie. "You see, the other day I
wasn't feeling so well and ran for the bathroom. But, before I could
think, blink, or turn on the light, I pooped my pants."

He got the job!
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