A first-grade teacher tells her class that she is an Ohio State fan. She asks the students to raise their hands if they are Ohio State fans too. Not really knowing what an Ohio State fan is, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, all the students put their hands in the air -- with one exception. The teacher looks at the little girl who did not raise her hand and asks her why she's decided to be different. "Because I'm a Michigan fan," the girl said. The teacher, a little perturbed, asks why. "Because my mom and dad are Wolverine fans, so I'm a Wolverine fan, too." The teacher, angry, says, "That's no reason. What if your mom and you dad were idiots?" The little girl smiles and says, "Then I'd be an Ohio State fan." A young man hired by a supermarket reports for his first day of work. The manager greets him with a warm handshake and smile, gives him a broom and says: "Your first job will be to sweep the store." The young man is indignant. "But I'm an Ohio State graduate! I even played football there!" "Oh, I'm sorry," replies the manager. "Give me the broom and I'll show you how." Two Ohio State football players are partying on campus when a bartender asks what they're celebrating. The smart one says that they had just finished a jigsaw puzzle and it only took them two months. "Two months?!" exclaims the bartender. The Buckeye proudly replies: "Yeah! The box said 4-6 years!" A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and says, "Hey, want to hear an Ohio State joke?" The man replies, "Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I am six feet tall, 200 pounds and a OSU graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6-2, 225 pounds and a OSU graduate. The guy sitting next to him is 6-5, 250 pounds and is also a OSU graduate. You still want to tell that joke?" The first guy responds: "Nah. Not if I'm going to have to explain it three times." After former Ohio State coach Woody Hayes passes away and enters Heaven, God takes him on a tour. He shows Woody a little two-bedroom house with a faded Ohio State University banner hanging from the front porch. "This is your home now, coach. Most people don't get their own house around here!" God exclaims. Woody looks at the house then turns around and sees the one sitting on the top of a nearby hill. It's a huge two-story mansion with white marble columns and little patios under all the windows. Michigan flags line both sides of the sidewalk with a huge maize and blue banner hanging between the marble columns. Woody says, "Thanks for the new home, God, but let me ask you a question: Why do I get this little two-bedroom house with a faded Ohio State banner while Bo Schembechler gets a mansion with new banners and flags?" God looks at him seriously for a moment, then replies: "That's not Bo's house. That's mine!" Four college alumni were climbing a mountain: An Ohio State grad, a Michigan grad, a Penn State grad and a Notre Dame grad. Each claimed to be the most loyal to their alma mater. As they climbed higher, they argued about who was the most loyal of all. When they reached the top, the Notre Dame grad suddenly hurled himself off the mountain, shouting: "This is for the Fighting Irish!" Not to be outdone, the Penn State grad threw himself over the edge, shouting: "This is for the Nittany Lions!" Seeing this, the Michigan grad walked over and shouted "This is for the Wolverines!" and pushed the Ohio State fan off the mountain. A little boy and his mother were walking through the cemetery when they spotted a headstone that read "Here lies an Ohio State graduate and a good man." The little boy turned to his mother and asked, "Mommy, why did they bury two people in there?" Q: Why do Ohio State University fans keep their diplomas on their dashboards? A: So they can park in handicap spaces. Q: What do you call a good looking girl on the Ohio State campus? A: A visitor. Q: What's the only sign of intelligent life in Columbus? A: Ann Arbor: 187 miles. Q: Why should Ohio State change its color from red to orange? A: You can wear it to the game on Saturday, for hunting on Sunday and to pick up trash along the highways the rest of the week. What did the Ohio State fan say to the Michigan Fan? Welcome to McDonalds. May I take your order? An Michigan fan amused himself by scaring Ohio State fans on the side of the road. He would swerve as if to hit them, and then swerve back just in time. One day, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed and pulled over. He asked "Can I give you a lift?" "God bless you my son" replied the priest. They continued down the road and the driver saw a Buckeye fan up ahead, instinctively, he swerved, narrowly missing the guy, but he still heard a loud "THUD." Not understanding where the noise came from, he remembered the priest. He turned and said "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit that Ohio State fan." "That's OK" replied the priest. "I got him with the door." Q. How do you get an Ohio State graduate off your front porch? A. Pay for the pizza.