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Mustard story

Discussion in 'Comedy' started by ccavacini, Sep 28, 2005.

  1. ccavacini

    ccavacini Super Mod Mod

    >

    >

    > The Mustard Story
    (This is a true story. If you have children you will
    > probably relate to this father.)

    >

    > As ham sandwiches go, it was perfection: a thick slab of ham on a

    > fresh bun with crisp lettuce and plenty of expensive, light brown,

    > gourmet mustard. The corners of my jaw aching in anticipation, I

    > carried it to the table in our backyard, picked it up with both

    > hands but was stopped by my wife suddenly at my side.

    >

    > "Here, hold Johnny (our six-week-old son) while I get my sandwich,"

    > she said.

    >

    > I had him balanced between my left elbow and shoulder and was

    > reaching again for the ham sandwich when I noticed a streak of

    > mustard on my fingers.

    >

    > I love mustard.

    >

    > I had no napkin.

    >

    > I licked it off.

    >

    > It was not mustard.

    >

    > No man ever put a baby down faster. It was the

    > first and only time I have sprinted with my tongue protruding. With a

    > washcloth in each hand, I did the sort of routine shoeshine boys do; only

    > I did

    > it on my tongue.

    >

    > Later, after she stopped crying from laughing so hard, my wife said,

    >

    > "Now you know why they call that fancy mustard .

    > "Poupon."

     
  2. that s not cool, very funny but not cool
     

  3. Don't feel bad bro you just made a life long memory. My son who is now seven puked in my mouth when he was 3 months old I was holding him up getting him to laugh and vvmoop! from his to mine the sickest sourest milk taste ever! To make a long story short my wife has never forgot and now every once in a while my son says"dad remember when I puked in your mouth when I was a baby" I grin from ear to ear. Just don't mistake hemorohoid cream for tooth paste. Yeah happend to me half awake getting ready for job number two. What a wake up call it takes about two days to get that taste out of your mouth. Enjoy it now because one day we will be the biggest dumbies who know nothing never did nothing and can't understand the youth of today.
     
  4. I came in from Mushroom hunting one time and got a big glass of cold water. I sat down and drank it then found a tick on my neck. I pulled it off and dropped it in the glass. A little while later I forgot about the tick, refilled my glass and drank it right down tick and all!:cheeky-sm
     
  5. now thats just sad lol. I remember using that benadryl anti-bacterial as toothpaste once lol. I just got out of bed and reached into the shaving kit bag to grap one of those tiny things of toothpaste, well i grabbed it instead and started brushing, not thinking of what i just did. all the sudden i relized my mouth had a numb taste and then proceeded to look at my brush and, what i thought, was the toothpaste tube, i bet i gargled with 20 gallons of water before i actually felt like i got it out and wasnt going to swallow anymore lol.
     
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