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Newlyweds

Discussion in 'Comedy' started by ccavacini, Feb 17, 2006.

  1. ccavacini

    ccavacini Super Mod Mod

    I cleaned this up a little:

    A couple had only been married for two weeks. The
    husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town
    and party with his old buddies.

    So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back."

    "Where are you going, Coochy Coo?" asked the wife.

    "I'm going to the bar, Pretty Face. I'm going to have a beer."

    The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the
    refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of
    beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.


    The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could
    think of saying was, "Yes, Lollipop... but at the bar... you know...
    they have frozen glasses... "

    He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him
    by saying, "You want a frozen glass, Puppy Face?"She took a huge beer
    mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just
    holding it.

    The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes,Tootsie Roll, but at the
    bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't
    be long. I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

    "You want hors d'oeuvres, Poochie Pooh?" She opened the oven and took
    out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres:chicken wings, pigs in
    blankets, mushroom caps and pork strips.

    "But my sweet honey... at the bar.... you know. There's swearing, dirty
    words and all that...

    "You want dirty words, Cutie Pie?.. "LISTEN UP YOU PIG! SIT YOUR BUTT
    DOWN, SHUT THE HELL UP, DRINK YOUR BEER IN YOUR FROZEN MUG, AND EAT YOUR HORS D'OEUVRES BECAUSE YOUR MARRIED BUTT ISN'T
    GOING TO A DAMNED BAR! THAT CRAP IS OVER, GOT IT, JACKASS?"

    And, they lived happily ever after. Isn't that a sweet story?