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Philosophy of Ambiguity

Discussion in 'Comedy' started by ccavacini, Jan 2, 2007.

  1. ccavacini

    ccavacini Super Mod Mod

    Philosophy of Ambiguity

    For those who love the philosophy of
    ambiguity...

    1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet
    the sweaty things.
    2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila,
    floor....
    3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
    4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why
    do we still have monkeys and apes?
    5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is
    because he knows where all the bad girls live.
    6. I went to a bookstore and asked the
    saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it
    would defeat the purpose.
    7. What if there were no hypothetical
    questions?
    8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother
    wash his hands with soap?
    9. If someone with multiple personalities
    threatens to kill himself,
    is it considered a hostage situation?
    10. Is there another word for synonym?
    11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away
    from it all?"
    12. What do you do when you see an endangered
    animal eating an endangered plant?
    13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they
    garnish his wages?
    14. Would a fly without wings be called a
    walk?
    15 Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are
    they afraid someone will clean them?
    16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he
    homeless or naked?
    17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
    18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to
    remain silent?
    19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
    20. How do they get deer to cross the road
    only at those yellow road signs?
    21. What was the best thing before sliced
    bread?
    22. One nice thing about egotists: They don`t
    talk about other people.
    23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
    24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults
    enjoy adultery?
    25. How is it possible to have a civil war?
    26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the
    rest drown too?
    27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would
    you still be hungry?
    28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which
    have you done?
    29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?
    30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids"
    instead of "assteroids"?
    31 Why is it called tourist season if we
    can't shoot at them?
    32. Why is there an expiration date on sour
    cream?
    33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle
    three times does he become disoriented?
    34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts
    of God?
     
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