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Applies to each person as they enter Indiana;

Remember: East Coast and California-types pay particular attention!

1. Pull up your droopy pants. You look like an idiot.
2. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
3. They are cattle, hog, chicken and turkey farms. That's what they smell like to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it?; I-69 and I-65 run North and South, I-64 and I-70 run East and West.
Pick one.
4. So you have a $50,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 combines that are driven only 6 weeks a year.
5. So every person in every pickup waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
6. If that cell phone rings while a herd of deer is coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
7. Yeah, we eat catfish & bluegill. You really want sushi & caviar?
It's available at the corner bait shop.
8. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season.

It's a religious holiday and a good excuse to take off of work.
9. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
10. Yes, there are "vegetarian specials" on the menu. We're not in the stone age! Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & bacon.
11. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup.
12. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet, and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
13. College and High School Basketball is the law here. It is more important here than the Lakers and the Knicks, and a sight more fun to watch.
14. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards - it spooks the fish.
15. Colleges? University of Indiana, Purdue, Notre Dame and Ball State.
They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at passing pickups when they come home for the holidays.
16. Indiana is the crossroads of America. If you're from the East or West coast, you're more than welcome to stop and visit a while, but leave your liberal ideas at the state line. You will soon find out that Hoosiers are a hard working, God-fearing people and we sure don't need advice on how to live our lives


1,244 Posts
amen cc.....give me an indiana tomato over a california grape anyday of the week or a bluegill over a boston crab

140 Posts
Now, if that ain't a heapin' helpin' of Hoosier hopitality. Look down on outsiders. Classify them as "types." Then spend a half page justifying why your state smells and that its inhabitants are too humble and set in their ways to entertain anything that might be considered "different." Yeah! this is the guy I want out front spreading Hoosier hospitality. I'm betting he voted Republican but didn't like the idea of changing his clocks twice a year.
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