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The Six Week Training Regiment

Below is the suggested pre-expediton mental and physical training regiment:

  • 6 weeks b/4 start
    - talk all the shroom'n trash you can think up - program your mind not to remember the pain (damn freak'n hills) - start your physical training by thinking about being in shape 5 weeks

    - begin practing the art of bending over-tie your shoes 3-4 times a day - lip sink the words "Got some over here" - recondition your mind on the old places where you found shrooms b/4 - practice climbing over your neighbors fence 4 weeks

    - Prepare your equipment - walk around the block once to get the heart beat going - increase the shoe tying to 5-6 times a day 3 weeks

    - begin nightly dreaming stage (usally associated with shroom'n) - walk to the grocery and buy butter, crackers and brown bags(**) - let your dog out and watch him/her run and imagine keeping that pace for about 8 hours 2 weeks

    - increase walk around the block to 3 times around block - begin practicing out-load "Got some over here!!" - have your better half hide sponges in the yard and you go find them 1 week

    - rest up after following the stringent regiment above, sit back and wait for those babies to start popping up around around your feet!
 

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Yeh, a little rough...whatever happened to--go to the store, buy mushrooms (along with some beer) go home and sit down in front of the tv?
 

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I don't know where my wife would do that or not, while I set and watch Nascar. It seens a little rough for the little lady. But I will ask.
 
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